It's hard

Gary's been gone for 15 days and though I've been thru this before, I find it really hard to be without him this time around. I miss hearing his voice at night, I miss our talks... I just miss him.

I don't get to share my day with many people coz we're all busy, I don't have many friends here in NY, most of my friends live in different time zone or abroad, and my best friend has a crazy life... so not being able to talk to G really sucks.

I used to be Ms Chatting Woman few years ago. I'd go on mIRC or other chat programs and enjoy my life that way. But I can't do that anymore. i don't find it interesting, it's boring. I hate talking about me or what I do or what I don't. Most people you meet there a. want to hook up, b. want to have cybersex, c. want to have phonesex, d. want to hook up, e. want to have sex...

I know I have to get used to being without G for weeks at a time, but this time I just feel is too long of a wait. It's many weeks since he's back and I find it really hard. I'm not counting the days to see him again coz I know when he's coming back, but right now... it's hard.