Hurt

It's been a shitty week...

I had a horrible week.

The kids are still on vacation til the 28th when they start camp. I can't believe June went by so fast and these 2 weeks of vacations for them are almost over.

We had playdates every single day. Mondays are usually Trevor and Matthew, though this Monday we went to the swimming pool. Nicole got sick on Wednesday and she's been with fever (up to 105) for the past 2 days. SHe's not herself and she's a HUGE drama queen... OMG.

I was supposed to meet Allen on Tuesday night and he wasnt there.

It's not the 1st time he stood me up... so I did something I knew would hurt him. I left a note saying 'i love you- have a great night'. I wanted to leave a note saying: 'fuck you' but i thought to myself: it's better to leave something that would make him feel like shit.

The drive from his house to mine is about 35 minutes. I made it in 11 minutes... I didnt go 120mph, but closer to it.... I was so upset coz I felt like an idiot!

That's why my post that day talks about walking away... and 'the pain of this moment'

I lent my car to Andrea on Thursday as she had some stuff to do. She came to pick me up around 9pm and when we stopped at Taco Bell to get something to eat I saw the driver's side door has a HUGE dent on it (pictures to be posted later). So I told her: someone crashed into my car and she said to me: No, it was me. I was parking and I bumped into a column.

I give a fuck about the dent on the door.

Everybody knows I wont make a huge deal about something broken... I dont care. Or I do, but I wont make a huge deal about it.

What hurt me the most was her attitude of not telling me RIGHT AWAY what had happened. I'm not an ogre and I wasnt gonna do anything!!!! My car has also a huge scratch on the passenger's side that I did while trying to get into G's driveway. But I did it. It's my car and I did that. I dont have to go tell nobody what I did to my car.

In her case, she should have said something...

I cried til 3 in the morning.

Besides, Allen called me....

I had been ignoring him on Y! and I didnt do my usual txting to him. So on Thursday night he called me. As soon as I heard his ringtone I started crying.

A. Hello.

N (crying). Hi

A. Are you mad at me?

N. (silence...)

A. I know you're mad at me.

N. (silence...)

A. Are you crying?
N. yeah
A. Please dont cry...
N. (crying)
A. I'm sorry. Please forgive me... I'm really sorry baby... please dont cry

Allen knew i was mad at him and though he knew what to do, he didnt. We talked for about 45 minutes and then he asked me to dinner on Sunday. i dont know if we'll see each other on Sunday or not, but at least I was a little happier about the whole situation.

Anyway, time for me to go.
Ya'll have a great weekend!
Noe